1. |
So Hanged
02:15
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Oh life itself's
A certain tax
Judge, Jury
And bloke with axe
Some days I feel
My head just copes
Supported by
The knotted rope
So hanged right now
So hanged
So hanged, well I'll be danged
And life goes on
My dearest fellows
One foot on
And off the gallows
Dance, as footstool
Hits the floor
A dance I've not
Performed before
So hanged right now
So hanged
So hanged, well I'll be danged
And every day
I feel the need
To do nothing
At breakneck speed
So hanged right now
So hanged
So hanged
So hanged
Comments
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2. |
Between 20 Lords
01:48
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The tenth day of Christmas is coming up soon
And some man is out to woo his lover true
So he's called for an audition for a lord to make her swoon
And my chances now are down to 1 in 2
For he's called for 10 of us to leap and bound for her amusement
And there's 19 others soaring by my side
With their tailcoats flying high to fill the gawkers with bemusement
All the stately air they gain a source of pride
Now the numbers are diminishing with every faulty landing
All his lordships taking 'break a leg' to heart
And we're not in this for money, no, you must be understanding
We are gentlemen who suffer for our art
Yes, he's called for 10 of us to leap and bound for her amusement
And I'm proud to say I've made the final cut
But the thing I'm looking forward to most are all the ladies dancing
Seeing just what twenty leaps does for my butt
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3. |
Jerk for a Guitar
02:41
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Hello, is this the music store?
I'd like to make a trade
I have a man, who through the night
One single song has played
Each every party, wonderwall
A serial offender
And for this pony single-tricked
I'll take a shiny fender
I'm sure you'll put this man to use
To model all your merch
He'll play for all who enter in
Not leave them in the lurch
He'll showcase all your latest goods
With that one song he'll play
And failing that, they'll pay for one
To simply get away
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4. |
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Forty different christians, sir
I found 'em without tryin
Forty different christians, sir
Signed up against the lions
They're cheaper to equip and train
Than any gladiator
And cause the lion's starved of late
He'll be quite glad 'e ate 'er!
Forty different christians, sir
They've passed no resolution
To say this public spectacle's
Religious persectuion
So feed 'em to the starving cats
Their taste is nothing sweeter
And they will come pre-sliced to be
Delivered to Saint Peter
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5. |
Dare 'em Up
00:52
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If someone behaves
Like an obstinate child
Just dare em up, dare em up
Soon they'll be riled
If conscience is holding em
Firm on the earth
Just dare em up, dare em up
See what they're worth
For any folk of any number of years
The pressure's best served on behalf of their peers
So dare em up, dare em up, you'll be surprised
At how much they'll let themselves be compromised!
If someone is held
In a wilful paralysis
Budging no inch
Through decision paralysis
Dare em up, dare em up
This ultimatum
Is all that you need
To manip... *motivate* 'em
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6. |
When Farewell Makes
02:07
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Oh, parting is
A sorrow sweet
But sometimes it
Feels incomplete
The closure's gone
But them's the breaks
The world is blurred
When farewell makes
You must agree
It's just no fun
When goodbye leaves
So much undone
We know not
The restraint it takes
To let it go
When farewell makes
And no amount of late repentence
Mitigates an endless sentence
Oh, parting slams
The novel shut
And disregards
Your ifs and buts
We must admit
It's no great shakes
The future's vague
When farewell makes
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7. |
Yn!
01:11
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yn!
yn!
Your finest yn!
I haven't got time
To use all four letters
yn!
yn!
A glass divyn!
This word is a crime
It binds me in fetters
A vice now and then
Like a pinch of snuff
There's a Y and N
And now that's enough
yn!
yn!
Your finest yn!
To spell or spill
Would waste the same
yn!
yn!
A glass divyn!
It matters not
What's in the name
A vice now and then
Like an ounce of grass
Is it Y? Is it N?
Why it's Y - one glass!
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8. |
Do You Crack?
00:57
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9. |
Once A Ship
01:35
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Once a ship, my son, always a ship
From your pretty maiden voyage to your terminal trip
And when the water's within, and the salt has you licked
You will still be a ship, even when de-re-lict
Once a ship, my son, always a ship
Whether evenest of keel or beginning to tip
Not the fastest car or swiftest plane can match your motion
As you cross, as only ships can, cross the deepest ocean
Once a ship, my son, always a ship
Though they sell your bones for scrap or hurl you in the skip
Be proud to be a vessel seen from Skye to Norfolk
Unless you're one of those whose transport body dysmorphic
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10. |
Step a Flood
01:04
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Leap tall buildings in a single bound!
Spy from the heavens a mouse on the ground!
Sense in the oceans a droplet of blood!
Turn up your cuffs and step a flood!
Breeze through the bush and sail through the trees!
Part the nimbostratus clouds when you sneeze!
Ride o'er the thermals, and boil the mud!
Turn up your cuffs and step a flood!
Be the best you in all the land!
Be the giant on whose shoulders we stand!
Haters will hate, ignore their crud!
Turn up your cuffs and step a flood!
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11. |
Shakin' Under the Yard
02:15
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Something's shakin' under the yard
The ground's gone soft for one so hard
The dry grass all now liquefied
The swimming pool's come home inside
Something's shakin' under the yard
So watch this space, be on your guard
The earth's not done with a single rock
No afterthought this aftershock
Something's shakin' under the yard
So take your loved ones, hug them hard
We all look our for each other's sake
In the aftermath of a something's shake
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12. |
I Like The Honesty
02:55
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The reviews in this world that really matter
Are those that strive to do more than flatter
Lavish your single stars upon us
I like the honesty
To be quite honest
Blacken my name and leave me for dead
Hurl your tomatoes toward my big head
Do us dishonour, and on our honours
I like the honesty
To be quite honest
I'm tired of the waffle and terrible phatic
This isn't an embassy, no diplomatics
Inveigle me not, and an asset you'll be
The truth inconvenient sets us all free
If we won't get better without a critique
Then better me, batter me til I am weak
And soon I'll improve - It's modus ponens
I like the honesty
To be quite honest
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13. |
Rise It Back (Rhapsody)
02:10
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If they topple down your statue
From its pedestal,
If they raze your sacred temple
To the ground,
If they cut your tree of life
To something stumpy,
If they make your mountain to
An anthill mound
If they smash the glass
And cast aside your portrait
If they take your books
And hurl them on the fire
If they stake your reputation
On a pikestaff
If they make you an object
Of no desire
If they drag your name
Through every nation's sewer
If they beat your body
Til its blue and black
If they cause your star to fall
Through slings and arrows,
Then dust off your sooty hands
And rise it back
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14. |
Become in the Snake
01:58
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If you ever see a cobra
With its tummy all distended
In a fashion quite distinctly
Hominid
Then it takes no great detective
To start sleuthing as intended
And you'll rationally work out
What it did
For it's often said one's eyes
Are rather bigger than one's tummy
But for snakes I fear that's often
Not the case
As you'll see by its new size
Some victim wrapped up like a mummy
And a rakish grin upon
The cobra's face
But is it all that bad
To end up in a tract digestive
With your troubles now not quite
So troublesome?
In fact, I would be glad
To give a friend a dinner festive
Where the last impression I inspired
Was 'yum'
The end!
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Pointless Frogspawn Adelaide, Australia
Pointless Frogspawn is a combination of Pointless Account and Frogspawn, malefactors on February Album Writing Month who bend time and space to win a pointless trophy with strange lyrics and stranger music and song. They're so bad that bandcamp won't let them back on their own show until recently! ... more
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