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So Hanged

by Pointless Frogspawn

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1.
So Hanged 02:15
Oh life itself's A certain tax Judge, Jury And bloke with axe Some days I feel My head just copes Supported by The knotted rope So hanged right now So hanged So hanged, well I'll be danged And life goes on My dearest fellows One foot on And off the gallows Dance, as footstool Hits the floor A dance I've not Performed before So hanged right now So hanged So hanged, well I'll be danged And every day I feel the need To do nothing At breakneck speed So hanged right now So hanged So hanged So hanged Comments
2.
The tenth day of Christmas is coming up soon And some man is out to woo his lover true So he's called for an audition for a lord to make her swoon And my chances now are down to 1 in 2 For he's called for 10 of us to leap and bound for her amusement And there's 19 others soaring by my side With their tailcoats flying high to fill the gawkers with bemusement All the stately air they gain a source of pride Now the numbers are diminishing with every faulty landing All his lordships taking 'break a leg' to heart And we're not in this for money, no, you must be understanding We are gentlemen who suffer for our art Yes, he's called for 10 of us to leap and bound for her amusement And I'm proud to say I've made the final cut But the thing I'm looking forward to most are all the ladies dancing Seeing just what twenty leaps does for my butt
3.
Hello, is this the music store? I'd like to make a trade I have a man, who through the night One single song has played Each every party, wonderwall A serial offender And for this pony single-tricked I'll take a shiny fender I'm sure you'll put this man to use To model all your merch He'll play for all who enter in Not leave them in the lurch He'll showcase all your latest goods With that one song he'll play And failing that, they'll pay for one To simply get away
4.
Forty different christians, sir I found 'em without tryin Forty different christians, sir Signed up against the lions They're cheaper to equip and train Than any gladiator And cause the lion's starved of late He'll be quite glad 'e ate 'er! Forty different christians, sir They've passed no resolution To say this public spectacle's Religious persectuion So feed 'em to the starving cats Their taste is nothing sweeter And they will come pre-sliced to be Delivered to Saint Peter
5.
Dare 'em Up 00:52
If someone behaves Like an obstinate child Just dare em up, dare em up Soon they'll be riled If conscience is holding em Firm on the earth Just dare em up, dare em up See what they're worth For any folk of any number of years The pressure's best served on behalf of their peers So dare em up, dare em up, you'll be surprised At how much they'll let themselves be compromised! If someone is held In a wilful paralysis Budging no inch Through decision paralysis Dare em up, dare em up This ultimatum Is all that you need To manip... *motivate* 'em
6.
Oh, parting is A sorrow sweet But sometimes it Feels incomplete The closure's gone But them's the breaks The world is blurred When farewell makes You must agree It's just no fun When goodbye leaves So much undone We know not The restraint it takes To let it go When farewell makes And no amount of late repentence Mitigates an endless sentence Oh, parting slams The novel shut And disregards Your ifs and buts We must admit It's no great shakes The future's vague When farewell makes
7.
Yn! 01:11
yn! yn! Your finest yn! I haven't got time To use all four letters yn! yn! A glass divyn! This word is a crime It binds me in fetters A vice now and then Like a pinch of snuff There's a Y and N And now that's enough yn! yn! Your finest yn! To spell or spill Would waste the same yn! yn! A glass divyn! It matters not What's in the name A vice now and then Like an ounce of grass Is it Y? Is it N? Why it's Y - one glass!
8.
9.
Once A Ship 01:35
Once a ship, my son, always a ship From your pretty maiden voyage to your terminal trip And when the water's within, and the salt has you licked You will still be a ship, even when de-re-lict Once a ship, my son, always a ship Whether evenest of keel or beginning to tip Not the fastest car or swiftest plane can match your motion As you cross, as only ships can, cross the deepest ocean Once a ship, my son, always a ship Though they sell your bones for scrap or hurl you in the skip Be proud to be a vessel seen from Skye to Norfolk Unless you're one of those whose transport body dysmorphic
10.
Step a Flood 01:04
Leap tall buildings in a single bound! Spy from the heavens a mouse on the ground! Sense in the oceans a droplet of blood! Turn up your cuffs and step a flood! Breeze through the bush and sail through the trees! Part the nimbostratus clouds when you sneeze! Ride o'er the thermals, and boil the mud! Turn up your cuffs and step a flood! Be the best you in all the land! Be the giant on whose shoulders we stand! Haters will hate, ignore their crud! Turn up your cuffs and step a flood!
11.
Something's shakin' under the yard The ground's gone soft for one so hard The dry grass all now liquefied The swimming pool's come home inside Something's shakin' under the yard So watch this space, be on your guard The earth's not done with a single rock No afterthought this aftershock Something's shakin' under the yard So take your loved ones, hug them hard We all look our for each other's sake In the aftermath of a something's shake
12.
The reviews in this world that really matter Are those that strive to do more than flatter Lavish your single stars upon us I like the honesty To be quite honest Blacken my name and leave me for dead Hurl your tomatoes toward my big head Do us dishonour, and on our honours I like the honesty To be quite honest I'm tired of the waffle and terrible phatic This isn't an embassy, no diplomatics Inveigle me not, and an asset you'll be The truth inconvenient sets us all free If we won't get better without a critique Then better me, batter me til I am weak And soon I'll improve - It's modus ponens I like the honesty To be quite honest
13.
If they topple down your statue From its pedestal, If they raze your sacred temple To the ground, If they cut your tree of life To something stumpy, If they make your mountain to An anthill mound If they smash the glass And cast aside your portrait If they take your books And hurl them on the fire If they stake your reputation On a pikestaff If they make you an object Of no desire If they drag your name Through every nation's sewer If they beat your body Til its blue and black If they cause your star to fall Through slings and arrows, Then dust off your sooty hands And rise it back
14.
If you ever see a cobra With its tummy all distended In a fashion quite distinctly Hominid Then it takes no great detective To start sleuthing as intended And you'll rationally work out What it did For it's often said one's eyes Are rather bigger than one's tummy But for snakes I fear that's often Not the case As you'll see by its new size Some victim wrapped up like a mummy And a rakish grin upon The cobra's face But is it all that bad To end up in a tract digestive With your troubles now not quite So troublesome? In fact, I would be glad To give a friend a dinner festive Where the last impression I inspired Was 'yum' The end!

about

Lo-fi ridiculousness, philosophy and sheer virtuosity in every direction.

Pointless Frogspawn is the unholy union of Pointless Account and Frogspawn, malefactors on February Album Writing Month who bend time and space to win a pointless trophy with strange lyrics and stranger music and song. They're so bad that bandcamp has only just let them back on their own show at pointlessfrogspawn.bandcamp.com

Written 1-2 March 2021 for February Album Writing Month 2021 (fawm.org), and debuted on 3 March 2021, just for the sense of occasion.

credits

released March 3, 2021

Lyrics by and Copyright © 2021 Stephen Wort aka Stephen Wordsmith
Music by and Copyright © 2021 TJ Fatchen. Performed by Tim Fatchen.
All Rights Reserved. APRA-AMCOS

Recorded at Flying Tadpole Productions, Dunn's Mill, Mount Barker, South Australia

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Pointless Frogspawn Adelaide, Australia

Pointless Frogspawn is a combination of Pointless Account and Frogspawn, malefactors on February Album Writing Month who bend time and space to win a pointless trophy with strange lyrics and stranger music and song. They're so bad that bandcamp won't let them back on their own show until recently! ... more

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